


Alone

by kmoaton



Category: Eureka
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-12
Updated: 2012-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-31 00:58:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/338152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kmoaton/pseuds/kmoaton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack tries to deal with a little help from an unexpected source.</p>
<p>Written for HC_Bingo - Prompt - Alcoholism<br/>Warning: Character Death, spirits <br/>Contains spoilers from Episode 408- The Ex-Files and Episode 409 – I’ll Be Seeing You</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone

At first, it was just to ease the pain, A few drinks to help him sleep at night. All he kept seeing was her face, bloody from the accident, her body still. He could still feel the weight of her lifeless body in his arms. He tried to get there in time, to warn them, to save her, but he was too late. They didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye. Jack refused to give in the grief. He was determined to hold it all in. He was stoic at the funeral and returned to the bunker as everyone in town went to Café Diem for the repast. 

His friends wanted to be there for him but no one knew how to reach him. Henry, knowing what Jack was going through, tried to help Jack cope with his loss but Jack was happiest lost in the fog of what had been. Even Zoe’s presence couldn’t drag him out of the pit of depression he had sunk into. Allison’s face haunted his dreams. He could still hear her voice, he could still feel her touch. Many nights, Jack woke up, tears streaming down his face, the ache in his heart threatening to make it stop. The whiskey helped him have dreamless sleep but he still had to face the dawn.

One drink soon became two, two became more. Soon, Jack lost count of how much he drank. Embarrassed by the amount of his consumption but too weak to stop, he would leave Eureka and go to the nearest town to stock up his supply. Every evening was spent in the dark of the bunker, S.A.R.A.H. placed on silent and he would stare mindlessly at the television, drinking until he couldn’t feel the pain any longer. He drank until he couldn’t hear Allison’s voice in his head. He drank until his mind was blank.

Soon the night drinking leaked into the daylight. Everyone could see the spiraling decline of their beloved sheriff but felt helpless to stop it. They covered for him the best they could while searching for ways to reach him in the abyss of his pain. They all knew that when Mansfield found out, Jack would be booted out of Eureka and that would be a final blow to the emotionally fragile man.

ooOOoo

Awaking with a start, Jack looked around the darkened room. A dim glow from the nightstand clock illuminated the room as Jack squinted to see what could have awakened him. His head was beginning to pound as he struggled to focus on his surroundings. He really didn’t remember coming to bed and noticing he was still dressed in his uniform did nothing to help his disposition. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, Jack sighed and decided to go shower. 

Feeling marginally better, Jack went downstairs for a drink. He knew it was his only hope to return to sleep. Rambling through the cabinet looking for an unopened bottle of scotch, Jack nearly passed out at the sound of a deep voice.

“This is a brand new low, even for you, Jack.”

Jack slowly turned around, heart pounding in his chest. “Nathan?”

Nathan Stark sat on the couch. A fire crackled merrily in the hearth, bathing the room in a gentle light. Nathan gave a cocky grin. “In the flesh.” Then he looked down at himself. “Well mostly.”

Nathan urged him closer. “I won’t bite. But you and I, my friend, need to have a talk.”

Jack eased to the couch. “Talk about what?” 

Now that he was close, Jack felt the fear ease from him and he was suddenly glad to see Nathan again. After the “ghostly” harassment from Nathan regarding his feelings for Allison, Jack wanted to let him know things had actually begun to work out. Fate was cruel to cut everything short just as they were finding each other. Jack was surprised to see a look of worry on Nathan’s face. Looking back at their shared past, Nathan very seldom seemed affected by things going on around him.

“Look at yourself. You’ve turned into a drunk, hiding in this bunker. I never thought the Jack I knew would back down.”

Jack felt a flare of anger. It was the first emotion that Jack allowed to enter his consciousness in weeks. He was livid that this hallucination was lecturing him!

“How dare you…” Jack began but he found himself cut off.

“How dare I? You aren’t the only one who has suffered loss and you aren’t the only one who is missing Allison.”

At the mention of her name, Jack felt the burn of tears in his eyes. Hanging his head, he tried to wipe out the chiding of her voice he could hear in his mind. 

“Jack, you know what she would say. Don’t you think seeing you like this would destroy her? “

Jack looked in Nathan’s eyes, his own blazing with grief and fury. “May it would, if she were here! But she’s not here, is she, Nathan? Allison’s not here and won’t be here again!”

The room was silent except for the crackle of the fire. Jack couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down his face.

“Jack,” Nathan’s voice broke across the quiet. “You’re going to have to accept it. You can’t move on until you do.”

Shaking his head, Jack voice cracked from his fight with crying. “I don’t want to accept it. I don’t want to move on. I want Allison. We…we had just started. We didn’t even really have a chance.” Moving his hands up to his face, Jack’s voice sounded muffled “It’s not fair. It’s not fair.”

“I know it’s not fair.” Without looking, Jack could hear the sadness in Nathan’s voice. “I missed my chance with Allison, too. Wasted moments that can never be retrieved. However, Jack, Allison found the strength to move on. She remembered what mattered the most. Family and friends. They are grieving too, Jack, and they want to help you but you won’t let them.”

Jack could feel the pain that had been buried deep inside of him pushing to the surface with Nathan’s words. For so long he had fought against the hurt and the feeling of loss. He had drowned it in booze and hoped that one day he would wake up and it would all be a bad dream and Allison would be beside him. Instead, he woke up alone, facing the reality that she was gone, really and truly gone.

The sobs tore ragged from his throat. He was vaguely surprised to feel the weight of a comforting hand on his back as the tears poured from his eyes, carrying all the grief and pain with them. As the tears finally ceased, Jack found a clean cloth in his hands. After wiping his face, he looked at Nathan, slightly embarrassed by his display of emotion. To his surprise, Nathan gave a sympathetic grin.

“I’m not here to judge you, Jack. “

Jack nodded his understanding. He felt unburdened and it was then he realized that he could begin to start over. A question popped into his mind suddenly and he could sense this would be the last time he’d get a chance to ask.

“Did…did she send you?”

Nathan chuckled. “Let’s just say I got word that you needed a different perspective.” 

Jack frowned but knew that was as much of an answer as he could expect. Yawning, Jack was surprised by the tiredness that came over him. Once again, Nathan laughed.

“Head to bed, Jack. You look like you could use the rest.”

Jack wanted to protest or think of some snappy comeback but he was too tired to even put forth the effort. As he made his way up the stairs, he heard Nathan say.

“See you around, Jack.”

ooOOoo

For the first time in ages, Jack rose early. After a brisk shower, he left the bunker with a particular destination in mind. Arriving at the cemetery, he made his way to Allison’s grave. Reaching out to touch the stone, Jack began to speak in a shaky voice.

“I’m sorry for making you worry. I guess I got really bad if you had to send Stark. I understand now.” Jack paused, his eyes filling with tears again. Taking a deep breath, he continued. “I’m sorry I didn’t get there in time to save you. I’m sorry I cut everyone off. I miss you so much. I wish you were here with Kevin, Jenna, and me. Everyone in Eureka misses you.” 

Jack remained a little while longer, letting the silence comfort him. Finally, he began walking to his jeep. As he reached for the door handle, the breeze caressed his cheek like a warm touch and he smiled. He knew that he would be all right; Allison would make sure of it.


End file.
